Harry Potter and the Help Of Lady Luck
by Coney Cat
Summary: Harry is caught in a drastically bad situation when a poker game goes bad. Of course Hermione comes up with the perfect solution to help Harry's trouble. Call on the magic fairy, Lady Luck! But it seems she isn't as lucky as the books say she is!


"Harry Potter and the Help Of Lady Luck"  
  
  
Summary: Harry is caught in a drastically bad situation when a poker game goes bad. Of course Hermione comes up with the perfect solution to help Harry's trouble. Call on the magic fairy, Lady Luck! But it seems she isn't as lucky as the books say she is!  
  
  
Scene: The Great Hall where all the students are mingling. Some of the more known characters to be spotted are Ron, Hermione and Harry who are sitting together as usual, Draco Malfoy and his goons at the Slytherin table and Fred and George all by themselves at a table seeming to work on a new invention. Dobby can be spotted cleaning the tables.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle: CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!  
  
*Draco finishes drinking his 30th expresso*  
  
Crabbe: Six more to go and you've beaten the world record.  
  
Goyle: *grunts and fills the shot glass with more expresso handing it to Draco*  
  
Draco: *knocks the glass onto Goyle and gets on top of the table and calls out to the whole hall* Who here would like to challenge me to Poker!! *burps*  
  
Ron: What in the name of my potbellied pig named Bob The Flying Circus Clown is poker?  
Hermione: *Takes her nose out of a book long enough to say something* Oh Harry! You should challenge him!  
Harry: But I don't know the first thing about poker...  
  
Draco: Harry potter uses his wand to pick his nose!  
  
Harry: DRACO! I'll challenge you!  
  
Draco: Well well, Potter fancies poker. Tell me Potter, which do you fancy more, Poker or boinking my mother?!  
  
Everyone else: ....  
  
Crabbe: *whispers in Draco's ear*  
  
Draco: Oh...what I really meant to say is Boinking Granger?  
  
Ron: 'Arry! You aren't! *cries like a little boy who lost his balloon*  
  
Harry: *smacks Ron* Shuddup! What me and mudsy do here is none of your business! Go fetch my money!  
  
Ron: Y-your right...Sorry 'Arry. *Leaves and returns with Harry's money*  
  
Draco: Anyone else care to join before I loose to Potter?  
  
Crabbe: *Whispers in Draco's ear*  
  
Draco: Oh, right. What I meant was before Potter looses to me?  
  
*Snape walks in and goes to Draco's side*   
  
Snape: I'll participate. Anything to see sweet...hot...young..erm...evil devil child Harry Potter loose.  
  
Draco: Very good.  
  
*Fred and George hear everything going on and decide to join in too*  
  
Fred: I'll join in!  
  
George: What a nifty spazzle! I'll join too!  
  
*Snape waves his wand and the table and everything is set up. Fred and George point their wands at each other and they both have nifty poker hats on. Everyone sits around the table.*  
  
Draco: Jokers wild, five card stud I like to eat rice with ketchup and those are the rules, any questions?  
  
Snape: Shuddup Malfoy and get on with the dealing!  
  
Draco: Righte-o! *Deals cards* Plaaaaaaaace your bets!  
  
*Harry places ten galleons as does everyone else*  
  
Draco: Big spender ay Potter?  
  
Harry: I suppose.  
  
*The games continues and then ends. This happens like that for about five more times. Hermione suddenly realizes Harry needs help so she drags him over to the side*  
  
Hermione: Harry! I know your not doing so great but I can help!  
  
Harry: What are you talking about? I've only lost 50 galleons!  
  
Hermione: Do you realize that with 50 galleons Ron could afford decent clothes?  
  
Ron: Ay! What's wrong with my clothes?!  
  
Hermione: They suck! I found this spell in the book that will bring Lady Luck to us. Lady Luck then will be on your side helping by giving tips so that you'll win Shall we give it a try?  
  
Harry: I guess this is the only way. Sure.  
  
*Hermione flicks her wand chanting the magical rhyme: *That is the American Dream To sing what we will sing. Looking out upon the sea, Reaching for the blue gleam.* Then a pink cloud of smoke gathered and slowly as the smoked cleared a figure began to show. Once the smoke was all gone Hermione and Harry were shocked to see what they did. It was a 47 year old overweight man going bald wearing a white undershirt and boxers.  
  
Harry: Hermione...where's Lady Luck?  
  
Lady Luck: Your lookin' at her....him. I charge by the hour, and I don't ask for money if you get what I mean.  
  
Hermione: Eww, I'm sorry Harry.  
  
Harry: *Heads back to the table* Quite all right, I have another plan. *Sits down and readies his wand when all of a sudden Draco squealed*  
  
Draco: Oh my tushi! *Stands up and grabs his bottom running out of the great hall* Too much expresso!  
  
Snape: *Chases after Draco* Let me help assist you sir!  
  
Harry: Well two down, two to go....*Harry whipped out his wand and zapped Fred and George with it. They instantly fall backwards fast asleep. Harry then grabbed all the money put it in his bag. Before he left the Great Hall he ran into Dobby* Dobby...  
  
Dobby: What is it Harry Potter wants?  
  
Harry Potter: I want you to come to Vegas with me and get married!  
  
Dobby: *squeals like a drunken tuna fish* Dobby would be so honored sir! *Jumps in Harry's arms*  
  
That was the last Ron and Hermione ever saw of Harry...  
  
  
But the rumor is Harry and Dobby live happily in Las Vegas. The wedding was performed by an Elvis impersonator who later became their butler. They have nine cats and enjoy canoeing on the lake nearby. 


End file.
